Part I
It has been a while since I wrote about any interesting anecdote. No, please do not jump into any conclusion. My life has never been more interesting in a while. But wives, cellphones and writing do not always go together. Remember, all my past posts have always been written when events have turned such that the former two were away from earshot. But I do not blame you for never inquiring about that. Why would you?
It has been a while since I wrote about any interesting anecdote. No, please do not jump into any conclusion. My life has never been more interesting in a while. But wives, cellphones and writing do not always go together. Remember, all my past posts have always been written when events have turned such that the former two were away from earshot. But I do not blame you for never inquiring about that. Why would you?
So, after pondering over it for a little over four years, I thought of finally putting my cellphone away on silent mode and giving writing another chance.
I have never had a fertile imagination. If you are an ardent follower, you will notice that all the stories I have told so far are actually real life incidents with not a figment of imagination involved. Take for instance the bug whose wife was on a business trip in the south of France that I wrote about a while ago. It was the culmination of years of keen observation of bugs' lives that I had undertaken painstakingly. I can tell you with certainty that it is not an easy job to generally pick a topic such as that and immediately conjure up an interesting story out of nowhere.
The idea behind apprising you of all these important facts is to prepare you for the story at hand and to assure you that the events that I am going to narrate to you took place in their entirety. Not a figment of imagination involved!
This took place around autumn last year. I had been working very hard for months without taking a break. My tiring nerves were giving away and I was beginning to get too restless even at home. Our three year old retriever would jump around the moment I would reach home from work expecting me to throw a ball or two in the lawn to fetch, but I would rarely be in my elements to comply. The keenly observant better half took no time to notice my diminished vigor and as usual, this effected her own usually calm demeanor. She started cooking the best of meals and mixing the old cocktails that used to do the trick. But no luck this time.
One evening, after I got back home, the wife appeared to be unusually radiant. She had prepared a delicious looking meal and I could notice a spring in her steps when she went to fetch the decanter. The animal, with its vigorously wagging tail and unusual panting looked quite worked up as well. There was excitement in the environs. After dinner I could no longer contain my curiosity and inquired about her designs behind the proceedings of the evening that had equally enlivened man and beast. That is when she unveiled her carefully crafted plans. It was no ordinary plan.
While I was away visiting unsuspecting customers door to door selling insurance plans during the day, the wife had been devising plans to distract me from the mundane and get me back to my normal self. She had left no stone unturned is what she divulged to me later. In her relentless pursuit for answers, she had bumped into this innocent looking brochure about the adventure possibilities in the wilderness and since then there was no looking back.
It was no mere jungle trip that she had in mind. It involved a procedure called camping. Now, you may not be familiar with such undertakings if you do not have an enterprising spouse or friends, so I am going to disclose a few details for you to paint a good mental picture before we proceed with the story at hand. The idea behind camping is to go back in time and explore how the neanderthal lived in the forest except that you carry processed food, mineral water and a tent to sleep in. When you have a meticulous spouse, you also end up maintaining fifteen different well meaning shopping lists and making twenty five completely harmless trips to the supermarket, pharmacy, gas station, orthodontist, pet care center and a few other important places before you can confirm that you are all set for the neanderthal experience. By that time, you would have already had so many out of body experiences that you may question the camping experience in the first place. But I did manage to hold on to my nerves and give camping a shot.
Finally, after all the running around and stocking the automobile with four and a half quintals of bare essentials, we set off for the adventure, beast in tow.
This took place around autumn last year. I had been working very hard for months without taking a break. My tiring nerves were giving away and I was beginning to get too restless even at home. Our three year old retriever would jump around the moment I would reach home from work expecting me to throw a ball or two in the lawn to fetch, but I would rarely be in my elements to comply. The keenly observant better half took no time to notice my diminished vigor and as usual, this effected her own usually calm demeanor. She started cooking the best of meals and mixing the old cocktails that used to do the trick. But no luck this time.
One evening, after I got back home, the wife appeared to be unusually radiant. She had prepared a delicious looking meal and I could notice a spring in her steps when she went to fetch the decanter. The animal, with its vigorously wagging tail and unusual panting looked quite worked up as well. There was excitement in the environs. After dinner I could no longer contain my curiosity and inquired about her designs behind the proceedings of the evening that had equally enlivened man and beast. That is when she unveiled her carefully crafted plans. It was no ordinary plan.
While I was away visiting unsuspecting customers door to door selling insurance plans during the day, the wife had been devising plans to distract me from the mundane and get me back to my normal self. She had left no stone unturned is what she divulged to me later. In her relentless pursuit for answers, she had bumped into this innocent looking brochure about the adventure possibilities in the wilderness and since then there was no looking back.
It was no mere jungle trip that she had in mind. It involved a procedure called camping. Now, you may not be familiar with such undertakings if you do not have an enterprising spouse or friends, so I am going to disclose a few details for you to paint a good mental picture before we proceed with the story at hand. The idea behind camping is to go back in time and explore how the neanderthal lived in the forest except that you carry processed food, mineral water and a tent to sleep in. When you have a meticulous spouse, you also end up maintaining fifteen different well meaning shopping lists and making twenty five completely harmless trips to the supermarket, pharmacy, gas station, orthodontist, pet care center and a few other important places before you can confirm that you are all set for the neanderthal experience. By that time, you would have already had so many out of body experiences that you may question the camping experience in the first place. But I did manage to hold on to my nerves and give camping a shot.
Finally, after all the running around and stocking the automobile with four and a half quintals of bare essentials, we set off for the adventure, beast in tow.
Neanderthal Man
